MY SILENT WAKE – Lost In Memories, Lost In Grief

RELEASE YEAR: 2024

BAND URL: https://mysilentwake1.bandcamp.com/

As melodic death doom metal is hands down my all time favorite genre which fits my complex internal psychology like a glove, I am always on the look out for the finest representatives thereof. Naturally, the so called Peaceville Trinity (Anathema, My Dying Bride, Paradise Lost) would be the blueprint which is why I am not looking so much for originality but rather creativity and, well, great songs. The British My Silent Wake fit that mold perfectly: their aggressive growly deathly side just as real as the melodic crushing and slightly or not so slightly impending doom, with complimenting dual, harsh and clean, vocals, and that in not always expected places, to boot. The band’s frontman and the only remaining founder, Seventh Angel vocalist, Ian Arkley (guitars, keyboards, vocals), formerly of Christian persuation, writes insightful not always so Christian but always deeply truly human lyrics, especially, since so much of Christian literature and music is God-oriented without appealing to Christ’s humanity Jesus modeled for all: his humility, self-controlled yet deep emotionality under strong, authentic personality and fearless and fierce attitude in the face of adversity and hardship.

Now, just because of Seventh Angel’s expressly Christian musical roots, it doesn’t mean My Silent Wake is an expressly Christian band. In fact, neither Arkley nor Simon Bibby (2015-keyboards, vocals) identify with that persuation anymore, having both become agnostics, while Adam Westlake (2013-bass) and Gareth Arlett (2014-drums) hold similar views, including atheistic, and latter themes reflect that diversity, whereby, though some lyrical themes deal with ideas of faith and loss of faith, they relate to that in deeply personal ways and more universally, rather than obviously Judeo-Christian religious themes. We may just look upon the example of Zao who, having started as a Christian metalcore outfit, as the lineup changed, grew more secular and today is just a metalcore, howbeit, still excellent, band, for evidence of such phenomenons occurring more often than we care to admit. This is just another part of the human experience, as we lose and gain faith, gain only to loose it again all our lives, some permanently either way.

Now, my experience with My Silent Wake (henceforth MSW) is only marked by one previous work, Damnatio Memorae²⁰¹⁵ which I remember being impressed with and even reviewing on media other than ours at some point but the band’s catalogue, started in 2005 with the eponymous demo as Arkley, Andi Lee (bass, backing vocals-2011), Jasen Whyte (drums, vocals-2010) and Alan Southorn (bass-2008), is extensive, spanning 12 albums, of which the most significant are Shadow Of Sorrow²⁰⁰⁶, The Anatomy Of Melancholy²⁰⁰⁷ , A Garland Of Tears²⁰⁰⁸ (all three on Bombworks Records), Eye Of The Needle²⁰¹⁴ (on Stone Grove Records), the aforementioned Damnatio Memorae (on House Of Ashes Productions), There Was Death²⁰¹⁸ (on Minotauro Records), and, of course, the subject of this presentation, the fantastic (actual 5.7/6 score) Lost In Memories, Lost In Grief²⁰²⁴, released last May 3rd via Ardua Music, in my view, easily their magnum opus, full of both authentic dark and authentic light, fabulous and highly creative musicianship and songwriting even the Peaceville Three woud love to count among their own creations, and yes, the powerful and nuanced production of Greg Chandler (of Esoteric fame) and band’s own Simon Bibby, doesn’t hurt, either. In point of fact, as marvelous as the last My Dying Bride’s work, A Mortal Binding²⁰²⁴ was, I think this one actually exceeds it in all aforementioned respects.

It has been said here numerous times and infinitely more prolifically echoed throughout humanity’s history, as this is is, indeed, the experience and conclusive finding of anyone brutally honest about the so called life we believe we live, that there seems too be altogether too much misery in the world and, outside of the human will, there seems to be no original reason for it. Hence, what we all agree on is that human will, especifically our free will to do as we please at any given moment, is to blame for it, but, of course, this a very unsatisfactory answer considering all the misery that comes at us seemingly from nowhere. For instance, I had just lost a family member and that loss completely turned my life upside down, some for good some for bad. At those moments, faith may, and in my case, did, in fact, help, but, in the end, we all grieve the same way, differring only in length and intensity we allow, but going through five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, rarely in any neat particular order. The subject is not new – metal and non-metal lyricists have always presented it in a fresh way since every human being is different and so are our individual experiences. Listening to Lost, then, is like experiencing these stages, or, more accurately, leaps and bounds of grief, through, in my view, the borderline personality disorder-laden tracks like the perfect opener “The Liar And The Fool” after which middle sequence the album is named after, but you may ask: what does grief have to do with borderline personality disorder (henceforth BPD) and its sufferers, to which I reply that life for BPDs is like not just grieving from time to time, according to the occasion that calls for it in a healthy man, woman or child, but actually being a living breathing embodiment of grief, whereby one really is lost in memories lost in grief (omission of the comma intended). The perfect opener ebbs and flows not unlike My Dying Bride’s perfect “The Dreadful Hours”, doubtless inspired thereby, or, better yet, co-suffering with it, cold and brutal but gentle and innocent. However, Arkley, still chief lyricist, puts an unexpected spin on grief that seemingly turns it into a mockery of the title, however, more likely, the title is just a non-judgmental description of the fact, while the lyrics themselves evaluate to what degree the person lost in memories lost in grief is responsible, or, better said, accountable for the grief engulfing and, ultimately, killing them. If so, then the same theme reigns in Swallow The Sun’s recent Shining²⁰²⁴, whereby why I am miserable may not always be up to me, but to what extent I am, always is. So we listen to the, again, perfect, “Wolf” which clearly makes one clearly both the author and finisher of one’s experience, the titular wolf so scary and threatening a voice in our own minds yet, at the same time, a pitiless phantom we can squash like a bug if we only choose to, interestingly, something BPDs seem to inherently incapable of doing, which, again, begs the question: am I the architect of my own universe or is such thinking ultimately the crux of my dismay? In almost a sarcastic manner, Arkley growls “if you lost a light, find another light” (the excellent “Another Light”) pointing to the fact that we so easily get attached to the ephemeral lanterns to guide us through the darkness of living and the world and how we can always find a brighter one should the first one fall.

Arkley, however, seemingly scorns at, and warns of, living in the past as a way of anchoring yourself against the present (for what is trust some call faith but precisely the present anchored in the past?) in the melodically fantastic “When You Look Back”, with a clear reference to Biblical Lot’s wife who turned into a pillar of salt when she had ignored the angelic warning to the contrary and had elected to look upon the burning Sodom and Gommorah and (what is less known but supported by the Bible) surrounding cities. Now, I have interpreted those words as simply reminding us that God does not actually punish sin and disobedience but, having previously established consequences very much like laws of physics for breaking them and warning us about them, which we both ignore to our peril, simply lets them play out according to our wishes but, of course, the lyrics are open to interpretation and they don’t have to read that way. Moreover, while Arkley appears to be criticizing certain attitudes, he is clearly doing it from a position of a co-sufferer of our collective human condition we so often insist on individualizing, especially in the so called democratic civilized countries. He is neither beneath nor above us, here is for us as he asks in the fantastic slow-burn “No Time” questions we all ask at some point: Why do we share our pain with those who do not understand us? Who are we deep inside, the soul beneath the mask? And here again, I read the lyrics to the absolute favorite perfection “Last Lullaby” as concerning our utter failure in taking care of our Mother Earth but the words actually carry much more personal, literal message.

So, mindful of metal albums standing or falling on the strength of both openers and closers, does Arkley end My Silent Wake magnum opus on a positive or negative note? Both and neither, as he chooses to remind us of how, in all this horse manure we, the horses, dwell, we have the audacity to so easily judge and reject those who sometimes transgress differently and sometimes similarly, on one hand, but also naively peddle cheap grace and forgiveness to those who neither ask for it nor ever grew to need it, on the other. And that, in the end, is what makes Lost In Memories, Lost In Grief such delightful raw and unforgettable experience which teaches and admonishes about the complexity of the human condition without once ascending the soapbox.